Updates after chemo 3

5/10/2012(Friday)-- Lay Bin accompanied me to my 3rd cycle of chemo. I was nauseous in the first 2 hours and drowsy most of the time. Must have been very boring for her but I am still grateful to see a familiar and caring face whenever  I opened my eyes or go to the toilet! Doctor said the potassium is a little high but it's not alarming.
6/10/2012( Saturday)-- Went for Zumba class but I could sense the slight dip in energy level , nevertheless I still enjoy the workout. In the evening LB and I took a walk at Labrador Park and the Keppel Bay Promenade. As cafe 308 was closed we went to Tiong Bahru Plaza and ate at Thai express. Before I slept , I felt my stomach churning, I think there must be a lot of wind.

7/10/2012( Sunday)-- After my oats breakfast I had a tummy ache and so decided not to go to church. Drank some ginger tea to get rid of the wind and we did go to Genesis for our usual lunch though everything from water to food tasted either bland or funny. The bone pain or muscle ache is more pronounced this time and so after the "mee-sua" dinner ( cooked by Wilson), I took the medication and retire for the night. Didnt really sleep till after 11 pm and woke up intermittently. Linda and Phuay Hua texted to enquire and I thanked all for your prayers and I will never forget your unflinching support.
8/10/2012( Monday)-- bone pain still persists and I didn't feel good the whole day so I spent my time watching DVD - The Practice... Experiencing Cold feet--read up and thot its some kind of nerve damage!!!-Danzbuddies are in Korea and Siok Im sent photos of their trip-- wish I can be there with them ......

9/10/2012( Tuesday)-- Bone pain seems to have eased ! Thank God for his mercy . I will praise his goodness and continue to ask God to hear my prayers for healing and Wilson( career) and Valerie( studies), give us double portion of your love I asked in Jesus' name! Cold feet seems to come back only in the afternoon.
10/10/2012 ( Wednesday)-- Bone pain is waning but the cold feet that comes on in the afternoon is still hovering...... Went back to QSS for the Zumba class, it was a good workout and seeing all the familiar faces does bring joy and all were very encouraging--P and VP (s). Mr Lui says to take live each day at a time....I probably need leaps of imagination to unlock the excitement that I used to feel for LIfe prior to my affiction...Slept early and well...

11/10/12 ( Thursday)-- Woke up at 4 30 am--- I think I slept too early last night! Today is going to be a good day for the bone pain seems non-existent! I have been reading this book == The unfailing love of Jesus === By RT Kendall.  It says that when God heals a loved one from dying, it is probably for ONE of the 3 reasons:
(1) because those who would be left behind simply could not cope alone----I feel very bad for being so competent--- LG please forgive me..........

(2) those who are healed have further work to do for God Here below----The job of parenting will never end and a single parent's burden is definitely HEAVY! and unsaved family members abound!

(3) God heals and postpones one's death so that his glory may be displayed-- to put skeptics to silence--Dear God though I can feel you  holding my hands tightly, I also worry that I may become a skeptic myself whenever I feel unwell for too long!

My conclusion -- it is a truth universally acknowledged that everybody wants to go to Heaven but no one wants to die......

I accept the fact that the rationale of suffering, death and eternity are beyond my( human)  grasp. I shall choose to pursue joy  and look for the good in everything that comes my way!
This morning QT -- Isaiah 38-- Hezekiah was stricken with a terminal illness and he pleaded with the Lord as he had served him whole heartedly and carried out the Lord's will ( I dont think LG and I did as much as Hezekiah). The Lord heard his prayer and added 15 years to his life!

So Hezekiah got a reprieve from immediate death but it is unlikely that 15 years later his loved ones will be "more willing" to say goodbye. Saying good bye to LG was definitely the most devastating blow to me even though I have NOT been nominated for any award for being an exemplary caregiver--- my regret in not being able to do more and be more self-sacrificing!