After chemo 2

Dear all
(1) Thank you  for all the smses, emails, visitations, food, encouragement, get-well card from US and MOST IMPORTANT your prayers! HE HEARS. I will praise him FOR NO SIDE effects at all. Except for a the the hair fall which is of course regrettable BUT I am beginning to accept that freakish stranger that stares at me in the mirror actually looks good as a result of all the antioxidant that I take-- the skin looks firmer and lesser lines--- its the truth!
In fact immediately after the 2nd chemo I felt even fitter than after the first one-- really very grateful to God for being so merciful.
ONLY loss of appetite for the first 4 days and flushed face on day 2, a bit of ache on day 3 and 4.

(2) There isnt any loss in energy levels at all  i.e I am still able to do all the things I want to do without feeling tired-- perhaps the real test comes if I go back and work a full 10 to 12 hours--- but I have to learn rest  in order to travel a longer journey.
I will be attending zumba fitness class this saturday morning

(3) I have this all -consuming obsession to read on google the various diet and what I can take and what I cannot-- not as anxious as before but I still want to stick to the no sugar, processed food, animal protein, dairy products and gluten if possible.

(4) I read in this book by Melanie Bone-- A journey through caner-- that Cancer is the loneliest disease in the world--- I beg to differ becos I felt lonelier prior to the diagnosis !- simply becos I have been getting a lot of love, care, and attention from everyone-- I am beginning to be a little worried that I may suffer from withdrawal symptoms once I go into remission
And in this book it says that Remission is also the time where there will be greater anxiety and fear of recurrence SO DO NOT LET GO OF ME just because i look strong and beautiful again!! I am now reading "When your doctor has bad news" - by Al. B. Weir-- the first chapter seems promising but looks( first chapter) are deceiving.

I am quite certain that at the end of my sabbatical , I will be a walking encyclopedia about all things related to gynecological cancer-- perhaps I can be of use somewhere

(5) Finally I will be going for the 3rd chemo -half way milestone next Thursday on 4/10/2012 and I hope you will continue to uphold me in your prayers . Pls pray  for:
(a) good blood count-- doc says that my blood tests HAS BEEN EXCELLENT-- as a patient also want to EXCEL-- you are beginning to see a glimpse of the old me......
(b) the chemo drug will do God's customized work of killing any remaining cancerous cells BUT NOT HARMIng any tissues or organs in the BODY
(c) no SIDE EFFECTS AT ALL---- you really have to  read to know how much other cancer patients suffer to know how grateful I am for this
(d)GOOD health for all loved ones so that they can continue to support me in this arduous journey
(e) God's guidance for Wilson(career) and Valerie ( studies)

I thank God for putting all of you in my life and may HE keep you in good health always

Getting ready for chemo 2

Dear all
The dreaded hair fall has started for 3 days and I should be quite
bald in another 3 days.--- so I won't be making aNy public appearances
in case the paparazzi are still around!
The roots of my hair are a bit tender-- almost like pain but my sister
Lay Bin thinks it is my body's way of telling me -----the pain of
losing the hair.

Though my sister Shandy has chosen a very expensive  and gorgeous wig
for me -- there is this inertia to want to use it--- but I think the
new hair that grows ( from all the cancer survivor website) will be
baby soft and nicer than my current frizzy look! -- so perhaps it may
turn out to be a blessing after all

The last 2 days I was a bit depressed , probably because I read blogs
of cancer survivors who seem to have relapses even if they go 100%
vegetarian which I am not as I am told by all that I need some meat to
produce red blood cells. Also these survivors seem to suffer so much
side effects as they go through all the cycles of chemo.

Finally I think we should continue to pray for
-no adverse side effects
- no chemo pain, no needle rejection, no hormonal imbalance
- allay my anxiety regarding food consumption --- no processed food,
no gluten, no animal protein, no sugar, no dairy products, no eggs--
sometimes  I feel terrible if I eat a bit of meat
-strong will power to resist my craving for restricted food -- ESP
chocolate and durian?
-chemo drug will do God's work of killing any residual or new cancer cells
- chemo drug will not harm any tissue, organ Or bone in my body
-God's divine healing and mercy on me
- able to live as normal a life as possible during this challenging
period of treatment e.g to be able to go for walks and buy my own
grocery and to learn  not to be Restless!
- God to bless my 2 children and all loved ones who have come forward
to care and support me with healthy bodies so that they can continue
to do the good work!

Have a blessed week ahead

Day 6 after First Chemo

Dear All

Except for the flushed face on day 2 ( which I cleverly use a wet facial mask to alleviate it) and random funny sensations on day 3 and 4 all over the body( definitely not bone pain), I do not have any adverse side effects as I strongly believe  that mine as well as all your daily prayers help!

On the evening of day 5 -- I develop some hives on my thighs and upper limbs and so Dr Wong gave me some medication when I met her yesterday for the blood test which she said was vey good. PTL ( Praise the Lord)

This morning one of my line dance friend, Soon Mee,  took me for a delightful walk at Kent Ridge park and I am grateful to God for sending so many to people to care and support me since the news of my affliction broke on July 23rd

Pastor Kien Seng and Deacon Linda came weekly and the uncountable number of friends( ( even from Queens) including LG's colleagues are still coming and I have never felt more loved in my entire life than this period.

Compared to other cancer patients, I thank God for reponding to me in this manner for he has sent so many to comfort me and give me asurance that all will be well. I am learning to rest in HIm and SURRENder all to him. Its not easy to have 100% surrender but I am on a learning journey and he speaks to ME in the most timely manner.--- to allay my anxiety or motivate me when I needed it

Everyone has been telling me to focus only on God and recovery and I am humbled by the love shown by ALL. Though I do not know what tomorrow ( or 6months later= 18 weeks of chemo and 5 weeksof radiotherapy) may bring, I know HE holds my hands( through the people around me --- sorry I am a tangible person!) and after this I will walk in the destiny he has planned for me!

Continue to uphold me in my journey

God is Great- My first chemo cycle

DEAR ALL
Thank you very very very much for all your prayers, visits, gifts, food, soup and help

Doctor Wong told us ( LB and LY were there) the the pet scan result is clear and she would put it at stage 2- Hallejuah!
She also said my blood test shows that I am a very healthy person except for the cholesterol part== so advise to continue with my hypercol
The chemo went smoothly. Started after 2 20 pm and ended about 7 pm. Doctor Wong also prayed with me after 5 pm== It was a powerful prayer and the most impactful one was : I am to have no side effect( like bone pain) that is sometimes experienced by other patients
My next 3 days timetable== would be =RESP = REST< EAT< SLEEP< PRAY
I have to see her again on DAY 6 ( 28/08--- to check my blood )and the next cycle== Day 22( 13/09)

Continue to uphold me in prayer! Good night

The Second Opinion

I had a very pleasant experience at Gleneagles and Dr Karmen Wong told me that by and large most doctors are pessimistic and by and large the Dr Soh I am seeing next Thurs is a good doctor ( her room mate in medical school) albeit not very chatty --- Brenda;s brother who is an oncologist says she is very good but dont have fantastic bedside manners???

Dr Karmen Wong spent 15 mins reading the case sheets then called me in. She asked me to share with her how I felt about my affliction and if I was angry with God for taking away Lim Gee and what sins do you think I have??

I poured out everything - my sins--- too busy for QT and sometime forget to say grace?? She jokingly said: Is that all???I asked her if the occasional sarcastic comments I made to students or some wicked thoughts about people who are not so nice is inclusive???

Anyway She is a very perceptive doctor  --- she prayed and anointed me with oil for 10 -15 minutes and she was able to pray with such insight-- she prayed that Sister Lay Kuan has been a very busy person and so the next 6 months to rest in the Lord will be challenging. She mentioned that I am a positive and mentally strong person, and in my  own words, I will just "grit my teeh and moved on" She said as my family has no history of cancer and she thinkd my body is not as strong as my mind and I have undergone a very stressful time--- perhaps the last 4 years-- I find the last 2 years without LG the most stressful!

She also added that the ovary is stage 1, uterus -- 7mm out of 22 mm of invasion about 32% is also stage 1 but becos 2 out of 25 lymph nodes tested positive for cancer --it is stage 3 c and she wanted to introduce me to another patient called Nicole , with same case history but worst staging and whenever doctors meet her will ask her if she is still around.. Patient is well and has a whole head of black hair!

She walked me through the 6 cycles followed by 5 weeks of radiotherapy and really made me feel so blessed and she asked me to pray for specifics like tell God that I want to see my children get married and enjoy grand children.

Lay Suan and Lay Bin want to check with David my cousin on my medical insurance with Prudential and Lay Bin suggested using my father's money to go private

I told them Dr Karmen Wong herself felt that if I am covered by Ministry, I should continue to do my treatment at KK......

I WANT to commit everything onto HIM--- be it doctor, or drug used, timing and schedule OR even the food I am supposed to eat or abstain ----as I think I should not try to be the driver anymore and then fret when things do not go the way we think should....

Thank you very much to all who have shown their love for me!!

My journey with Cancer-- Have Mercy oh Lord

Must God love me and LG equally? I hope not...........

23/07/2012
Cancerous cells in the uterine! The final shock still stuns me, the doctor's room felt very gold and my teeth was chattering -- an effect of the shock,my heart palpitates and the blood seems to race faster than the F1 cars, I do not seem to be able to think clearly with flurry of information download but of course in the usual efficiency typical of me, I manage to do all the payment, financial counselling and getting the appointment for the aCT scan.
The brain immediately went into an overdrive mode to plan for the many weeks of MC ahead as well as to text all those who care for me! Pray for healing, for mercy, wisdom, courage. Got to talk to Brenda and Maggie.
24/07/2012
Woke up at 230 am-- read everything online  about hysterectomy , after care and CT scan and prayed that everything will work out fine. I hope it does not involve too much suffering, pain and discomfort. I am very grateful to have so many caring colleagues and friends in my life but I know it is still a battle I have to fight myself. Pray that the children will remain strong and faithful. Linda sent a long prayer to me and Pastor Kien Seng also gave me Deut 31:8 -and I felt a sense of calmness and the blood did not rush around like the F1 cars anymore. The nurse in the CT scan room was very pretty and also comforting. It really makes a difference.
I was quite certain that during the drinking of 4 cups of water, The Lord put this old lady beside me , she gave me a vivid description of the whole procedure and how controlling her urine was an issue. The nurse was kinder to me, she allowed me to use the toilet even after the 3rd cup and boy! The old lady was envious beos she was not allowed to go to the loo after the 2 nd cup. I prayed to The Lord to have mercy on her as she is old and lonely and lives alone in a 3 room flat in AMK.
Felicia from church texted me that she is praying for me for God's favour n mercy to be upon me n his peace that surpasses all understanding.
Jasmine from school shared a song with me -- I will run to you
Susan also texted me to let me know that both she and Kim are praying and I am to look to God!