Back Home for Xmas

6th Jan 2010 ( Wednesday)

After a long day in school, at 5 pm, I could not start the car's engine.Mr Arthur Lim and Mr Ivan Ho confirmed that is is the battery's fault. Of course no decision can be made until LS ( mother was so clever to inform LS who happenened to be on leave-waiting for a contractor) fetched LG over to the school to ascertain that it was a flat battery. Then it is AA to our rescue at the cost of $117 that can be charged to a credit card. The chap is such a friendly and cheerful soul that it makes the experience almost a pleasure except for the inconvenience of waiting for half an hour after making the call.

5th Jan 2010 ( Tuesday)

LG went for the TILT test  to check on the fainting spell he experienced. Apparently he cannot stand stand for too long which is the trigger point for the vertigo. He came back and had lunch and slept for quite a long while in the afternoon-- which is good as he will be admitted soon to SGH for the 4th cycle on 7th Jan and it is not easy to sleep for long in SGH which all the constant checks and questions asked.

4th Jan 2010 ( Monday)

School starts....... my day starts at 5.50 am and I reach home 530 pm. Three very caring lady colleagues ( Chee Kit Wan, Lim  Soey Huang and Low Lay Sian)of LG came to visit at about 6 pm and left slightly past 7 pm. Apologies for not getting a snapshot of them.

 I was busy typing out the mintues of the Sec 2 LMT meeting to chat with them as every day is going to be a busy day now, targets to meet, duties to be performed, needs to be met and of course fire-fighting! Pray that I will be equipped to play my part well to justify my existence.

2nd Jan 2010 ( Saturday)

LB bought us a sumptuous dinner at Zhou's kitchen and then we adjourned to house of the most recent arrival in Strathmore Avenue- The fantastic 10 year old sound system, state-of-art deco, erotically-inclined  wall furnishing that is good taste and innovative use of space will take your breath away as there was no professional designer involved. There was certainly a lot of brain work and leg work involved---In the picture you can even see our reflection in the gleamingly-polished marble flooring. Free admission and preview only for selected few.

1st Jan 2010 ( Friday)

Went for a hike to Bukit Timah again with LB at 10 30 am There seems to be quite a few monitor lizards today and they were definitely less aggressive than monkeys.After lunch I made a cheese cake( Kimberly also helped in the making) to welcome the Goh family into our very friendly and hospitable Queenstown neighbourhood. My mother was ill after eating something bad, so I volunteered to get dinner for all including LS's family. See the long queue at my favourite sliced fish beehoon soup at Mawell hawker centre--- you have "to savour every mouthful of the piping hot soup" which I guarantee is quite out of this world. LG is getting stronger each day and even drove me to get dinner. It's beginning to feel a little like the old days where the father and mother bird go out to gather food for the nestlings! Philip ( Peter's brother ) gave us a fridge and my friend Maggie told me that its the"in thing" to have 2 fridges in the house!

31st Dec 2009 ( Thursday)

Today is the last day of 2009-----Many friends will send me good wishes for the approaching new year. Somehow I am not able to be enthused by  the "Happy New Year feeling"

Went to Henderson to buy prawn noodle soup for lunch and manage to get quite a lot of stuff at a shop nearby for the Budget Corner in school- thanks to Peter's recommendation.

Attended the count- down party at Tanglin CC.

30th Dec 2009 ( Wednesday)

I have to be in school the whole day for staff meeting and departmental meeting. This is the only time in 30 years that I experienced a great reluctance to go back to work and I am a workaholic. I dread people asking " How are you feeling, Mrs Lim ?"-- Do they really want to know?......

930 am -- MIBI test for LG at the Heart Centre-- Wilson will have to drop him there and perhaps pick him up at a later time as the test takes a few hours
Maggie and Jeffrey came to visit and it was good as Jeffrey's "market talk" was like a whiff of refreshing air for us.

29th Dec 2009 ( Tuesday )

1130am --TILT test at Heart Centre to check on the fainting was scheduled. The above test was not performed as LG did not fast before since there was no instruction given to us.--This means we had to kill time for 2 hours. Decided to go to Block 4  to visit our friends(they have all been discharged) and amend his leave to the date he wanted as well as to have a lunch break. At 1 30 pm --- Blood transfusion at NCC

28th Dec 2009 ( Monday)
Went to NCC for the blood count test at 830. We also talked to Jing Jing the BMT co-ordinator and made arrangement for the younger siblings to come to SGH on 8th Jan for the genetic blood typing. Dr Tan W M attended to LG at 1030 and  asked him many questions so as to ascertain all his organs are functioning properly.As the haemogloblin level is 8.1 , he arranged for a blood transfusion tomorrow. So need to draw blood again for the transfusion. Next we trotted back to Haematolgy Centre in block 7 for another blood test for the genetic blood typing. There is a total of 4 needle pricks ( 3  plus 4 one that is not successful- as many of the veins are "frozen") I guess the best news for today is his weight has gone up to 47 kg ( measured at NCC- Praise God for this)
At night Lim Shong came to fetch me to Pasir Ris to attend Karen's father's wake. ( Karen is Tian Teck's wife). His siblings advised me to be more tolerant and submissive to LG ---- I wonder if they would say the same thing to LG if there had been a reversal of roles???--- Will they be able to walk their talk if they had to experience it for themselves everything both of us have been through besides the physical agony, dreams dashed, hopes unfulfilled, a future that is unknown and unfamiliar...

27th Dec 2009 ( Sunday)

Siang Hwa and AiTin gave us some Xmas cake and it was sumptuous and timely as we were a little hungry after service. Lay Suan's brother-in-law gave us a sofa bed ( my prayer is heard again!-- knowing I cannot go out and select one without LG's nod of approval)

I washed the coverlet of the new sofa bed and decided to hang it out to dry ( forgot what I promised in this blog a few days back- thinking I would bring it in before it was noticed). Of course I forgot about it  as I wanted to clean the rear windscreen of the car and withdraw some cash for my in-law ( while waiting an eternity for Valerie to get ready- which is a rather stressful task).Consequently when LG pointed out to me on what I should have noticed  when driving on the road and reminded me of the forgotten laundry, I was choked with tears. It was really so difficult to be constantly  being picked on. I was beginning to feel so weary .......as the school term approaches and the many  challenges I have to overcome including the multiple roles to play.

In the evening we had dinner with Lim Shong and LG's parents at City Square- Paradise INN.

26th Dec 2009 ( Saturday)

Praise God, LG felt so much better today and was able to read the newspapers. It was a busy day for me. Went for a long walk with Lay Bin at Bukit Timah. Managed to pick two plants though I was actually looking for English Ivy ( Hedera Helix) which LG has gleaned from the papers is able to clean the air. Lunch was at Princess Terrace with my sisters and mother.After lunch we went shopping at Tangs and Lay Bin had a fruitful trip as her image consultant Shandy was available. It was quite fun to go shopping  with my sisters, it's a pity we did not have more of such opportunities.After collecting LG's dinner, it was time to get ready for the Gatbsy wedding of the year at Shangrila"s Island ballroom.

25th Dec 2009 ( Friday)

Do you know I actually dreaded going to church on Xmas Day? A day of great joy and celebration for all christians. Tears will be streaming down my face when people are singing all the happy carols. There is a reason to be happy as they are all saved by the precious blood of Jesus amongst the many blessings they received from God, but I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE TINIEST OF BLESSINGS. It is indeed very humbling. I must have been arrogant in the past….?

Everyone tells me that we are in this together including God but I think the problem is ME--- I just cannot seem to be doing things right in the house, with LG, Wilson and even Valerie.

Despite feeling a little giddy and the stomach being a little cranky, LG also made it to Asia Grand at Odeon Towers for tim sum lunch. It was a good lunch though he ate very very little. It was great to see Desmond, Shandy, Uncle Leong and Aunty Ah Thong - sort of felt a little uplifted after that.

Sally and Say Tiong sent LG a get well card. 
 
 






24th Dec 2009( Thurs)
Yesterday LG had diarrhoea a few times and was decidedly feeling under the weather.He also alerted me about a small lump in his leg somewhere below the knee. Today the lump seemed to have subsided( perhaps he must have bumped into something).When he left SGH on Monday his weight was 43 kg. I am positive he has lost some more as he is not eating very much simply because he is being overly careful on what he should consume.Though there is no diet restriction by the doctors, we are really not sure about eating out or buying in. Valerie and I had lunch at Swensens at Holland Village and decided to drop by an organic restaurant opposite called Buanalun where we a bought a zuchini carrot tea bread($9.90) for LG. He seemed to be overcome with extreme exhaustion, slept the whole day. He was also concerned about the heart rate but when I offered to go and buy a HRM ( heart rate monitor) he wanted me to do more HW first. We both know that all the chemo drugs that was pumped in had somehow weakened his heart further! We will have to continue to pray for Jesus to watch over him and heal him from all his ailments.

22nd Dec 2009

We both overslept this morning. Partly because the children  sms-ed past 1 am about staying over and then changed their mind and came home past 3 am from the birthday party.

Took LG to the Dawson Mall so that he can decide if my choice of the cart is suitable for the kitchen and then I had to run a few errands. I am beginning to find it a strain in this OMO show. As my cooking skill is limited, getting food for the family is getting  tougher as everyone's palate is different. And of course without LG's help the carrying of stuff can be a great burden, hopefully the trigger finger will not come back.

There is as the usual  frenzy of cleaning and washing tasks to be done when LG is home and so I  hung out the quilt cover to dry. As the December wind was strong, the quilt cover came into contact with the metal grills on the air con ledge and so Boss LG  took it in to wash again. While he was napping, I hung it out to dry at a slightly higher position which was qucikly dislodged by the wind and the whole bamboo pole was hanging precariously on the 22nd floor's air con ledge in a vertical position ( we are on the 23rd floor). The neighbours below were not in and I was of course reluctant to tell anyone. Of course it is impossible to keep it under wrap for long. LG woke up, much to  his chargin mainly at my stupidity, he climbed onto the aircon ledge ( at the position in front of the condenser where there are no metal bars!) and tried to pull the bamboo stick up. I was flabbergasted. For someone with fainting spells, it was foolish but I had to remain massively optimistic for nothing I said would change his mind! Needless to say, there was an urgent  prayer from my heart! Finally the bamboo stick was retrieved and the quilt cover was dislodged and Wilson and I collected it from the 21st floor. I decided that this will be the last time I hang anything out. The laundry will now remain indoor forever.

His compassion never fails

21st Dec 2009 ( Monday)
Dr Lim is on leave for one week and a Dr Thng from the heart centre  came to follow up on the fainting spell as all blood tests, ECG and physical examination seem to indicate that LG is ok. The discharge process took a longer time because of  the co-ordination of next chemo and heart scan. So after they sorted out the dates, I believe we should be ready for home.
At 245 pm , two chaps came to check on the visitor's stickers-- perhaps someone has complained or they could have read my blog and decided to take action????
Just to update my readers, Mr Coughing Tan "duan qi" on the 12th Dec 2009- two days after we were discharged. I think he had lung cancer. The last I saw him he was quite strong walking around with no shirt has he felt warm all the time and even had an extra fan brought in in our air-conditioned ward!---The cliche" life is short" is very real in a cancer ward.

The take-aways from the 3rd cycle of chemo are we have befriended patients from Bed 2 and Bed 4. We are just like comrades in the same ship, all of us have only one goal and that is  complete remission then a cure. Please God have mercy on these 2 young men ( both in their early twenties) and grant the doctors and nurses wisodm to do your customised work and may they come to know you and know that With YOU NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I only manage to collect the medicine at 5 pm.The amount of medicine we have to bring back after each hospital stay is mind-boggling. Thank God the list given this time is quite bearable. We reached home just in time to hand the car over to Wilson so that he could fetch Valerie to Samantha's birthday party and of course the welcome reception( like all the household chores done) that any parent would yearn to have is virtually non- existent as they both seem to be terribly busy. Perhaps as parents we have failed to teach them the importance of priortizing and time management. Hopefully both of them will not make the same mistake with our grandchildren.( sounds like a lamentation right?)

20th Dec 2009 ( Sunday)

The Joyeux Noel ( French for Merry Xmas) service this morning was competently executed.

The side effects of chemo for LG seem to be loss of hearing and dizziness. The doctors ordered a ECG this morning to check on him as a result of yesterday's fainting spell. We are grateful that LG is able to eat well. At 4 pm LG went to the toilet and again fainted. There was a loud clanging of metal bars being knocked against the wall and I opened the door to see him trying to support himself. It was rather frightening as we needed 4 person to support him. He woke up quickly and we helped him to his bed and changed him. I gave him some warm soup as his lips were rather pale.Please pray for God's strength, protection  and comfort to be with LG. The doctor on duty wanted to draw some blood  for investigation so I guess Dr Lim may not discharge him tomorrow.

There is a strange phenomena that frequently eludes me. Usually on a weekend, there would be a large group of Malay community camping and sometimes picnicking at the lobby of Ward 48. A quick check around the ward would tell you that the number of Malay patients multiply by 2 visitors per patient remains a mathematical enigma that few could solve. As the checks at the reception counter on the ground floor is rather stringent, I wonder how these folks are able to find their way up under the watchful eyes of the policeman that was stationed downstairs. Though they do not obstruct traffic nor do they make a nuisance of themselves, it is rather worrisome to see such a community congregating at the lobby and eating on the floor. Perhaps the hospital is rather sympathetic as Ward 48 is a cancer ward. Nevertheless secuirty has been compromised!

19th Dec 2009 ( Saturday)

Woke up at 5 am and decided to make some juices for "my patients" in SGH. Dr Lim said LG can be discharged on Monday( 21/12/2009). He is required to turn up on 28/12/2009 for a blood test and to be prepared for admission for 4th cycle of chemo on 7th Jan 2010. We are singing " I'll be  home for Christmas". Went off  to Bukit Timah to hike with Lay Bin. It was rather uneventful except for a skinny snake that caught LB's attention. It rained halfway and there was no need for me to practise my commands of telling the monkeys to "leave me alone" though I almost believed they understood me when I shouted at them to go away and they actually did! After lunch I went home to boil some soup for "my patients" and prepare for the line dance party at TCC.It has been quite a long while and was worried "my fans " will forget that I exist. See the picture of the cheese cake I made last night. I guess many of them are too busy to appreciate it.  Mr Lee F W and William Teo( from Queens Council) visited  at 245 pm but I wasnt around to receive the guests-- my apologies.

I reached SGH about 645 pm and there was high drama in Ward 48 Room 12. Lim Chun  ( LG's sister) was there too.Apparently LG fainted! Two of the nurses were changing dressing when one of the tubes fell off and blood squirted out--- not much but enough to make him feel queasy and like a slow-motion picture he went white and slowly slumped onto his bed causing a stir in the ward. Picture shows one of the two nurses ( also one of my favorurite) whose heart missed a few beats when it happened! Of course by the time I arrived they just finished changing the bedsheets and everything was back to normal. Thank God it's only seeing his own blood and not anything serious. Glad that God is in control whether I am there or not! Take heart my dear husband, the cleansing blood of Jesus covers you from head to toe, so do not be alarmed by your own blood!

18th Dec 2009

Dr William Huang  came to discuss with us about the allogeneic stem cell transplant( using stem cells from siblings). The chances of a cure is 30%. The chances of a relapse without transplant is 90%. With a transplant the chances of a relapse is 60%. He reiterated to us that lymphoma and leukamia relapse have got nothing to do with diet or lifestyle. The risk of complication in an autologous transplant ( using his own cells) is 3%. However, the risk of an allogeneic stem cell transplant is 30%. There are 3 things to consider for LG's case:

(a) his heart may not be strong enough- ( a concern to the doctors)
(b) flare up of the hepatitis B - which can be controlled by drugs
(c) threat of kidney infection
Finally the mass in his thigh bone-- will be controlled with chemo and radiotherapy. He encouraged us to focus on getting cured as statisitcs only helped us to make an informed choice. But we know that our focus is on our Lord the greatest physician of mankind! Pray that the blood of Jesus will cover LG from head to toe and cast out ALL the lymphoma cells {especially those that can disguise itself and deceive the body}.

Maggie delivered some raspberrries and blueberries for Lim Gee. All berries are good for him and so are all our friends. Mrs Singam called to ask how LG is responding to the treatment and we are glad to report that so far there are no side effects yet.

Elder Yoke Fooi ( LG's daily motivator and possibly pillar of strength) is here to pray and give thanks for favourable response to the 3rd cycle of chemo.

Kim Han ( took leave intending to come and donate his blood cells) and Winnie visited. He has to wait for the doctor and the hospital co-ordinator to come out with the schedule for the siblings. Such sense of urgency is very comforting for LG and I  as the power of solidarity in the Lim Clan is very much alive.



Another hamper from the Navy?
Perhaps they may decide to impose a quota on the maximum number of hamper an individual is entitled to soon......
Tian Teck and Karen came in the evening but I have already left for home.



17th Dec 2009

Dr Lim is pleased with this morning's blood test result and so 22hours after admission, LG is ready for the 3rd cycle of chemo. See the black colour bag filled with drugs to kill all the cancerous lymphoma. Sometimes it is purple in colour. I understand black is the most toxic. LG's mother is here today which is good as she is a captive audience for him. Though she cant hear very well, I think she listens with her heart.

At 3.30 pm, the hospital staff comprising dorctors, nurses and admin staff bought some Xmas cheer to the ward patients and caregivers. It was really heart-warning to see such a big group of caring people giving their time, talent and energy to strangers. Praise God we are so privileged to be able to hear them sing despite the mask the singing was really good!

Joyce came to fetch LG's mother back home and much to my envy she is going to HK this weekend!

A surprise for LG- a fruit basket from Queens MCST- wishing him a speedy recovery.

16th Dec 2009

Yesterday Phuay Hua (whose maid has gone back for a break) got James to deliver some aloe vera juice for LG as it is supposed to reduce the ulcers that may possibly erupt as a result of the chemo. She will always remember this whenever LG goes for chemo-- very thoughtful of her.

Checked in at 3 pm. It was a breeze. Perhaps because we have become veterans at doing this. The picture shows the friendly and caring Dr Loh checking LG to ensure that he is ready for the 3rd cycle of chemo.

OUR FIRST VISITOR(Lim Shong) -- The mystical bonds of Brotherhood  is difficult to describe but it is a 2 -way street which will be put to a test in times of crisis.

David( my cousin) and family sent LG a card to assure him that our Lord WILL NEVER LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US!

I am Overwhelmed !

14th Dec 2009

Today Miss Chan ( my reporting Officer from 1982 to 2009) called to tell me that she has asked for early retirement ( expected to be approved by Jan 2010). How can it be? We have taken for granted that our Dai Ka Jie ( big sister) will always be there to take care of us. She is going to become a caregiver to her mother and brother. It must have been a difficult decision. I protested that I cannot do without her in the school for I need a lot of "looking after". As I am a "big-picture" person , Miss Chan will always be the one to vet my mistakes and pick up the pieces after me. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again ( something that has been happening often of late). I was hoping not to turn on the tap for a longer time!

She is one of the most respected HOD Queensway has ever and will ever have. I am saddened by this news for I owe her a debt of gratitude for nuturing me professionally, guiding me to become a better parent/ spouse and motivating me in all my endeavours. QWSS Maths dept will be in a state of shock without our meticulous leader! I am usually never at a loss of words, was for once stunned and bewildered. I could only say that I will pray for her mother's good health.


We live our lives under the discipline of uncertainty, we never know what emergencies may be approaching. Please God make Miss Chan YL a woman who can also be like me --- able to laugh at the days ahead....

15th Dec 2009

During my lunch appointment for the club of 4 @ Paradize Inn City Square Mall, I received an SMS from LG that he found precious memories of OUR STORY. We thought we had lost it for good as it has gone missing since we moved house( 2 years have lapsed).We had spent many hours looking for it and have pestered everyone to search their homes just in case it has travelled there accidentally. I can imagine LG erupting with thundering jubilation at his discovery. God is Good All the time!Perhaps we can now plan to celebrate our 25th Wedding anniversary next June. I will need to look for a reliable Anniversary Planner. Are there any takers? Please apply with your resume and achievements in this field for the last 3 years. The 25th wedding anniversary of a yet-to-be celebrity blogger promises to sizzle with eye-popping outfits by all guests ( especially those from HK) and breath-stealing powerpoint slides and video clips ( with heartfelt drama) that will hold everyone in mesmerized fascination.

LG was very pleased with the bottle of Bird's nest( Poh Im , a member of the club of 4 got it for him- bless her for that )as it contained Potassium which he thinks he needs. I am indeed grateful to all friends and relatives who have supported us in their own special ways to make us feel so blessed. Today is indeed a happy one for me.

Home Sweet Home!

11th December 2009

Its so nice to be important but its more important to be nice! Trini Lopez

Enjoying the award-winning porridge in the comfort of his own home. We are singing " It is WELL with my soul". Elder Yoke Fooi sms-ed to ask "What to pray for?" In my euphoric state I have almost forgotten that!

Firstly we would like to thank God that LG can come home to rest for a few days before going for the next round of chemo. Secondly pray for a good match of blood sample to be taken from his 6 siblings. ( Thank God for having big families- it is times like this when blood is thicker than water). Finally pray that he will go into complete remission before the next stage of his treatment--- allogenic stem cell transplant. LG reported that so far Kenny and Tian Teck has responded to his sms for blood samples. May God bless them for their promptness in allaying his concerns.

12th Dec 2009

This is our latest toy. ( Lay Suan borrowed it from her brother-in-law Jack) It is a powerful juice extractor.This Green Star Gold Juicer has a slow rotational speed  which results in a dramatic reduction in the rate of oxidation. The precious nutrients and enzymes survive much longer. Not only is your juice more vital and energizing, but you can also store it overnight with minimal loss of nutritional value.Vegetable Juices Last for Over Three Days! Fruit Juices Last Even Longer!

As domestication is a big adjustment for me, Phuay Hua ( our sister-in-christ who has been most helpful since last year) has to buy  beetroot, zuchinni and baby bittergourd to show me what they look like. Nevertheless I shall strive to be a quick  learner even though I suspect the learning curve will be a steep one for a caregiver.

13th Dec 2009

The clouds of sadness seems a little remote today as life seems to settle to the usual Sunday routine. Visit from our dear friends --- The Singams and Carol--- See the strawberry cheesecake ( yet to be perfected) -- which is really from zero to hero ( it is actually edible)

 

The Naval Welfare Unit wants to get some stuff for LG--- as he specifically wants Waitrose organic food from Three Sixty Market Place@ ION Orchard ( Level 4 )--- I thought it is best LG goes personally to choose what he wants.

Then we are off to Raffles Hotel for dinner @Royal China---- birthday celebration for those born in December!

May your lives be filled with little celebrations of happiness and kindness surround you all through your days and each moment of the year. May your every prayer be answered and may your troubles be left far behind you.Wishing all four of you a Blessed Birthday!  From LG and LKThank you  very much to Third Uncle and Aunty who fought to pay for the bill. In fact he said he would be free to attend if he paid for the dinner. Now you know why third uncle and aunty will always be invited as they were also the earliest to arrive. As Punctuality is the politeness of kings hence  it is befitting for the King to pick up the bill @ Royal China!