6th June 2010
LB passed me a book -Learning to walk alone- by Ingrid Trobisch. It was a helpful book in which the author details her journey of swimming in a sea of grief after her husband of 27 years died of a heart attack.. I could identify with the many of the stages of grief and What I learned is I have not lost LG for I know where he is, I have just LOST MYSELF! Thanks to all the kind people who have been taking me out for meals.( also one of the reasons I am blogging less and I heard quite a lot of people cry while reading my blog- my apologies) Ingrid calls all these kind people the nurturing and supporting circle of loved ones , I am slowly learning to walk again ALONE. Staying at home alone and clearing his stuff is no longer such a painful process but there is still fresh tears daily.
LB passed me a book -Learning to walk alone- by Ingrid Trobisch. It was a helpful book in which the author details her journey of swimming in a sea of grief after her husband of 27 years died of a heart attack.. I could identify with the many of the stages of grief and What I learned is I have not lost LG for I know where he is, I have just LOST MYSELF! Thanks to all the kind people who have been taking me out for meals.( also one of the reasons I am blogging less and I heard quite a lot of people cry while reading my blog- my apologies) Ingrid calls all these kind people the nurturing and supporting circle of loved ones , I am slowly learning to walk again ALONE. Staying at home alone and clearing his stuff is no longer such a painful process but there is still fresh tears daily.
There is still a lot of guilt over all the things I could have done better for the past 2 years where life still went on as normal, like going to work, continuing all my social activites instead of giving him my undivided attention, being impatient when he tried to share with me some of the stuff that I did not want to hear.
I think NOBODY should ask someone who have lost a life partner--- are you OK(ALRIGHT)? or how are you feeling? The answer is a no brainer!
However, after service I felt brave enough to venture to the cosy corner and even sat with Linda and Rosalind . Later Chong Seng joined us for a short while. After that I dropped by the church library and borrowed a wonderful book TO Care With Passion by Sharon Soon.The book describes the author's experience in her walk with her husband during his battle with Colon Cancer. It begins with a personal experience in living cancer and concludes with the aftermath of bereavement.If I had read the book earlier, I feel that we will be better equipped during the remission period and I would not have called the private ambulance to send LG to hospital on the fateful morning, It is definitely a must read for all caregivers!
