Wednesday, May 28, 2014
In Loving memory -- 4th Anniversary
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Going back to work
This is the original version of the letter sent to my Principal- The actual version is of course politically correct.
Dear Mr Lui
I am Lay Bin ( Lay Kuan’s sister). I hope QSS staff and students have been doing well under your competent leadership.
First of all our ENTIRE SOH family ( 36 members) would like to thank QSS and the numerous ex-colleagues ( including Ex-Principals and Ex –VP going back to 1999) that that have taken the trouble to visit LK bringing with them valuable gifts, words of comfort and encouragement during her seasons of grief( 2 years back) and her recent distress. She has found relief and motivation in the massive outpouring of care and comfort and has been in good spirit and cheerful throughout her treatment as she recounted to us the various colleagues and friends that have come. I understand that Mrs Wong even came and cook her some comfort food.
We would also like to thank the Prayer Warriors in your school for their unflinching support as she goes for each chemotherapy and also the people who took time to go out for lunch with her ( knowing her driving need for companionship).We thanked God for the minimal side-effects experienced and she is able to go about her daily routine with little or no disruption.
Everyone who has worked with Lay Kuan will instinctively know that she is someone who will not allow AGE OR ILLNESS to define her usefulness. Moving forward as she goes back to the QSS family in March 2013, we are confident that all of you will continue to look out for her welfare and ensure that she IS NOT to volunteer for anything more than she is required to do so. We do know that cancer is 70% due to stress and 30% due to food and environmental factors. It is a well known fact that cancer patient in remission greatest fear is a relapse.
From this affliction, we know that LK is much loved by all in QSS not just because she is extremely conscientious , or her brilliant wit, generosity, spontaneous creativity ( just to name a few) BUT her courage and positivity despite all odds! WE hope that my much-loved sister will move from being a cancer-afflicted widow to becoming a CANCER-FREE and CARE-FREE teacher enjoying good health, affectionate friends and great joy in QSS.
We hope that God will heal her completely and do continue to uphold her and her children in your prayers. May God bless you and all staff and their families with good health so that you can continue the good work.
I am Lay Bin ( Lay Kuan’s sister). I hope QSS staff and students have been doing well under your competent leadership.
First of all our ENTIRE SOH family ( 36 members) would like to thank QSS and the numerous ex-colleagues ( including Ex-Principals and Ex –VP going back to 1999) that that have taken the trouble to visit LK bringing with them valuable gifts, words of comfort and encouragement during her seasons of grief( 2 years back) and her recent distress. She has found relief and motivation in the massive outpouring of care and comfort and has been in good spirit and cheerful throughout her treatment as she recounted to us the various colleagues and friends that have come. I understand that Mrs Wong even came and cook her some comfort food.
We would also like to thank the Prayer Warriors in your school for their unflinching support as she goes for each chemotherapy and also the people who took time to go out for lunch with her ( knowing her driving need for companionship).We thanked God for the minimal side-effects experienced and she is able to go about her daily routine with little or no disruption.
Everyone who has worked with Lay Kuan will instinctively know that she is someone who will not allow AGE OR ILLNESS to define her usefulness. Moving forward as she goes back to the QSS family in March 2013, we are confident that all of you will continue to look out for her welfare and ensure that she IS NOT to volunteer for anything more than she is required to do so. We do know that cancer is 70% due to stress and 30% due to food and environmental factors. It is a well known fact that cancer patient in remission greatest fear is a relapse.
From this affliction, we know that LK is much loved by all in QSS not just because she is extremely conscientious , or her brilliant wit, generosity, spontaneous creativity ( just to name a few) BUT her courage and positivity despite all odds! WE hope that my much-loved sister will move from being a cancer-afflicted widow to becoming a CANCER-FREE and CARE-FREE teacher enjoying good health, affectionate friends and great joy in QSS.
We hope that God will heal her completely and do continue to uphold her and her children in your prayers. May God bless you and all staff and their families with good health so that you can continue the good work.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Rejoice
Finished my last treatment on 07/02/2013! Praise God for sustaining me through this journey. Though the bladder irritation has made peeing a very painful process, I will be praying hard for relief. CNY is a good time for new beginnings as there are a lot of well wishes and greetings to uplift our spirits. I promise myself to be very good to myself and to be as positive as I can in all circumstances. I am looking forward to meeting up and feasting and bonding as well as going back to work on March 1st. I shall claim on His promise that by his stripes I WILL be healed.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Next Course of treatment-- Radiotherapy
02/01/2013--- The New Year sees the commencement of daily radiotherapy sessions ( 25 +2 brachy- internal radiation). The only side effects I have experienced was just fatigue, tightness and funny sensations around the treatment area( abdomen)
Statistically my chances of relapse is 50% and so this new regime is supposed to being down the relapse rate further and hopefully work towards a cure. There were of course moments of doubts. Nevertheless I know that human knowledge and wisdom is limited AND I can ONLY trust in God and his mercies.
It is human to want to linger on no matter what age group you are a there are many things we cannot let go but somehow there is this void and loneliness that refuse to go away completely!
My 7 month sabbatical has been simply wonderful as it gave me a chance to rest in the Lord and showed me how awesome the people around me has been. To care for someone when it is convenient is good but to care for someone by dropping everything you are doing surely requires a pure and noble spirit! I am glad to have experienced such love from the people around me.
Just wish I could have done more or gave up more for LG!
11/01/2013-- Dr Lee saw me today before the treatment and I asked him several questions about the treatment I am receiving. He said my treatment is the best money can buy, if I had it done in NCC ( there is no radiation centre in KK)-- I will probably be getting the standard 3DCRT rather than the IMJRT
Statistically my chances of relapse is 50% and so this new regime is supposed to being down the relapse rate further and hopefully work towards a cure. There were of course moments of doubts. Nevertheless I know that human knowledge and wisdom is limited AND I can ONLY trust in God and his mercies.
It is human to want to linger on no matter what age group you are a there are many things we cannot let go but somehow there is this void and loneliness that refuse to go away completely!
Just wish I could have done more or gave up more for LG!
11/01/2013-- Dr Lee saw me today before the treatment and I asked him several questions about the treatment I am receiving. He said my treatment is the best money can buy, if I had it done in NCC ( there is no radiation centre in KK)-- I will probably be getting the standard 3DCRT rather than the IMJRT
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Chemo 6 ( LAST ONE!!) Hurray!
11/12/12-- Lay Bin( very grateful for her support as well as everyone who has been forthcoming) accompanied me to the clinic AND I AM really ELATED that this is the last one! Nobody can really understand my relief .... in addition to bearing up with the treatment , I am frequently haunted by LG's experience. I regretted that I did not prepare as much for him as I am doing for myself. Also I felt that he did not have as many caring friends as I have! Blood test scores were PERFECT-PRAISE THE LORD ( triglycerides 300+++-- must be either the KL and Ipoh food or the 2 capsules of shark oil I take every morning--- intend to reduce it to one, Vit D was low-- Dr Wong said that 90% of the population is low-- becos all want to look good-- so gave me 2 month supply of it as it is essential for the bones).Dr Wong prayed with us and asked God to see me through the 27 radiotherapy sessions with NO side effects and the nurses assued me that radiotherapy is much easier than Chemotherapy. Dr Wong also asked God to replace all that I have lost DOUBLY-- I guess she's referring to my health becos I am not sure God can replace LG......
After the initial grogginess and nausea I slept till 3 pm throughout the intravenous chemo and ate the lunch that was delivered by Valerie. Felt very very tired upon returning home but the immense relief , gratefulness and confidence I feel is beyond words.
12/12/12-- Auspicious Day for wedding! Just as auspicious for me too! Decide to have a jucie diet for lucnh since there will be a lot of feasting soon to come....LY arriving in the afternoon for the next 2 days of frenzied shopping and eating..... Flushed face again in the late afternoon and evening
13/12/12- The sisters wanted to go to Bukit Timah hill to hike , bone ache has started to kick in... They visited Uncle Leong at Alexandra Hospital and prayed for doctor's wisdom. Simple lunch at Sunny choice then to MBS, buying undergarment at La Senza, tea at TWG and then some serious bday shopping at International Plaza for LB. Bone ache was worse at night- did not sleep much.
14/12/12-- LB's 50th bday!-- had my morning walk with Soon Mee whose second-hand car was mysteriously flooded in the back seat( must have gotten an accident car)! Tried to delay the medication till lunch so that I can last the whole afternoon.Collected cake and kueh , dropped Wilson for work and picked Valerie up at NUS from her dance camp( she has sprained her ankle-- she looked stress-up).
15/12/12-- Though I wasn't exactly in top form. I still go for Zumba as it is more preferable than to laze around at home in pain and misery. I must have looked rather unwell( nausea) as Soon Mee insisted on accompanying me to NTUC and then to the car-- I will never forget such kindness!
Recently I spent more than $2k buying a lot of bedsheets for all my friends as Xmas gift--- not that I can leave behind any inheritance to all of them, just a memento to register my appreciation because some of them have really been great, always putting my interest above theirs when we are together( like not allowing me to lift a finger to do anything and always giving me the choicest food)-- I know to care and love someone requires sacrifice of time , effort, money and inconvenience to their personal schedules! But to do it consistently is surely beyond human endeavour! Thank God for blessing for surrounding me with such unconditional love!!!!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Chemo 5 --- One MOre to go!
15/11/2012-- Thursday -- Blood test was PERFECT again that even Dr Lee ( radiotherapy) asked if I had any booster jabs to achieve such scores. Of course it was only by God's grace and all the prayers that everyone of you has sent up!
LS took time off the whole day and even prayed as the needle is going into my wrist. Tears flowed and the nurse was apologetic. Somehow I was quite overwhelmed by the flashbacks of LG and the numerous jabs he had to undergo kept on replaying in my mind like a film projector that had gone cranky. ( Peter delivered lunch for us and the salad was good) Phuay Hua also sent the aloe vera for me in the evening
Later there was a group of 3 evangelists who came over to pray for me but I was getting drowsy from the medication. More tears flowed freely when the elderly gentleman asked me why I became a Christian. I replied that I believed and I have faith! ( my unflinching reliance on HIM)
When God took LG home, I felt that He loved me less than others, perhaps I have not been a good christian and being human I surely will have many many imperfections and weaknesses. I also felt that I was being punished for loving LG more than God.
16/11/2012-- Flushed Face but I still went to JB for lunch with Danzbuddies and had lobster lunch and organic durian. They gave me the choicest part of the fish and everyone has been simply wonderful since my affliction. God has indeed shown his love for me by putting so many people to care for me but he must also surely know that LG is irreplaceable!
17/12/2012--Day 3 -- Zumba session was simply wonderful , the stretches were just what my body needed. Sent Caroline's iPhone to MBS and bone pain starts to set in . Tried to take a walk at Kent Ridge with Lay Bin despite the heavy downpour , managed only half the route as my joints were not very comfortable. After 8 pm Gina delivered gluten-free bread made by Ai Tin-- just nice for tea break before tomorrow's ACM. Prayed that tomorrow will be a better day!
18/11/2012-- Day 4--Did not make it to church as the bone ache has not EASED! When you are in pain and your taste buds are going havoc, its a bad feeling, prayed and rested. Lunch at Genesis with LB , LS and Peter. Felt a bit better after the meal. Somehow if the food you eat is nice, t makes you a bit better even though the taste buds are not functioning properly.Felt even better after he facial and massage at Dawson Place. Phuay Hua sent some more Aloe Vera and advised me to take some calcium pills. Had dinner with the whole family and 4th uncle at Canton Paradise in StarVista-- it was unanimously concluded that we will never eat there again although I must say that eating in a big group does distract me from my stiff joints! The bone aches persist and I prayed for relief and asked God to allay my anxiety throughout the night, couldnt really sleep till past mid night.
19/11/2012-- Day 5 -- After the walk at Kent Ridge, I am beginning to feel like my old self again. Praise the Lord for all the mercies big and small. Visited QSS and delivered my mc coverage till 28/02/2013. However, the medication wore off in the afternoon and so the bone pain is still just as tormenting. Called on God to hear my prayers for relief and healing!
LS took time off the whole day and even prayed as the needle is going into my wrist. Tears flowed and the nurse was apologetic. Somehow I was quite overwhelmed by the flashbacks of LG and the numerous jabs he had to undergo kept on replaying in my mind like a film projector that had gone cranky. ( Peter delivered lunch for us and the salad was good) Phuay Hua also sent the aloe vera for me in the evening
Later there was a group of 3 evangelists who came over to pray for me but I was getting drowsy from the medication. More tears flowed freely when the elderly gentleman asked me why I became a Christian. I replied that I believed and I have faith! ( my unflinching reliance on HIM)
When God took LG home, I felt that He loved me less than others, perhaps I have not been a good christian and being human I surely will have many many imperfections and weaknesses. I also felt that I was being punished for loving LG more than God.
16/11/2012-- Flushed Face but I still went to JB for lunch with Danzbuddies and had lobster lunch and organic durian. They gave me the choicest part of the fish and everyone has been simply wonderful since my affliction. God has indeed shown his love for me by putting so many people to care for me but he must also surely know that LG is irreplaceable!
17/12/2012--Day 3 -- Zumba session was simply wonderful , the stretches were just what my body needed. Sent Caroline's iPhone to MBS and bone pain starts to set in . Tried to take a walk at Kent Ridge with Lay Bin despite the heavy downpour , managed only half the route as my joints were not very comfortable. After 8 pm Gina delivered gluten-free bread made by Ai Tin-- just nice for tea break before tomorrow's ACM. Prayed that tomorrow will be a better day!
18/11/2012-- Day 4--Did not make it to church as the bone ache has not EASED! When you are in pain and your taste buds are going havoc, its a bad feeling, prayed and rested. Lunch at Genesis with LB , LS and Peter. Felt a bit better after the meal. Somehow if the food you eat is nice, t makes you a bit better even though the taste buds are not functioning properly.Felt even better after he facial and massage at Dawson Place. Phuay Hua sent some more Aloe Vera and advised me to take some calcium pills. Had dinner with the whole family and 4th uncle at Canton Paradise in StarVista-- it was unanimously concluded that we will never eat there again although I must say that eating in a big group does distract me from my stiff joints! The bone aches persist and I prayed for relief and asked God to allay my anxiety throughout the night, couldnt really sleep till past mid night.
19/11/2012-- Day 5 -- After the walk at Kent Ridge, I am beginning to feel like my old self again. Praise the Lord for all the mercies big and small. Visited QSS and delivered my mc coverage till 28/02/2013. However, the medication wore off in the afternoon and so the bone pain is still just as tormenting. Called on God to hear my prayers for relief and healing!
Friday, October 26, 2012
After Chemo 4
23/10/12- When I arrived for the blood test, SANDRA was NOT there, it was the painful blood drawer( from 2nd cycle)! I told her I need to go toilet first and in the toilet I prayed that it will be a pleasant experience! I was rewarded for my faith and my prayers! It was the best experience, when Sandra drew blood it was a scratch on the skin, this time I could not feel anything!
24/10/12-- Supposed to see Dr Wong at 1030 am but she was so busy going in and out of ICU and so I did not get to see her till past 12 noon. Fortunately Shandy was there to make the waiting less dreary.
Dr Wong said my blood test results were PERFECT! Previously it was EXCELLENT! Maggie came with Kobie ( BLess him God , he's really a joy to have around) and porridge for me. I was getting drowsy from all the medication they were pumping into me. There were really many chemo patients as the doctor was going off for the long weekend to Jakarta and the nurses were really busy. BUT MY PERSONAL NURSE SHANDY was the best, she helped me to the toilet a few times and made sure that I am comfortable and warm even though she was having a slight cough and would really like to have a nap herself! We only left the clinic after 5 pm.
25/10/12 - Flushed Face in the afternoon-- use my Lancome Genifique mask!
26/10/12- went for walk with Phuay Hua at Botanical Garden at 6 am, lunch at Ritz Carlton with the whole family. The bone pain seems imminent and so took the medication before it gets bad.
3rd uncle visited with Radiana, Ogata, Aunty and Uncle Teo close to 5pm, went for walk with Lay Bin at Kent Ridge Park and cousin David came with fruits and left them at my doorstep! I love all the fruits he bought! Surprise visit from Jenny ( came with soursop and jackfruit) and Caroline( 2 bags of clothes for Valerie ) and of course my BFF Maggie. Water tasted like metal and bearable bone pain has started but with so many visitors today , I am encouraged!
27/10/12- Bone and joint pain persists but I still attend the Zumba class as it is better than being in the house and feeling miserable. Had lunch with Maggie, Ivy, Jane, Helen and Shirley at Lee Tong Kee Hor fun, we had a delightful afternoon at Maggie's house just chatting away and poking fun at everything said, Somehow in the fellowship of caring friends and the hospitality of my BFF Maggie, all the discomfort of bone pain seems more bearable. Hopefuly the bone pain will go away tomorrow!
24/10/12-- Supposed to see Dr Wong at 1030 am but she was so busy going in and out of ICU and so I did not get to see her till past 12 noon. Fortunately Shandy was there to make the waiting less dreary.
Dr Wong said my blood test results were PERFECT! Previously it was EXCELLENT! Maggie came with Kobie ( BLess him God , he's really a joy to have around) and porridge for me. I was getting drowsy from all the medication they were pumping into me. There were really many chemo patients as the doctor was going off for the long weekend to Jakarta and the nurses were really busy. BUT MY PERSONAL NURSE SHANDY was the best, she helped me to the toilet a few times and made sure that I am comfortable and warm even though she was having a slight cough and would really like to have a nap herself! We only left the clinic after 5 pm.
25/10/12 - Flushed Face in the afternoon-- use my Lancome Genifique mask!
26/10/12- went for walk with Phuay Hua at Botanical Garden at 6 am, lunch at Ritz Carlton with the whole family. The bone pain seems imminent and so took the medication before it gets bad.
3rd uncle visited with Radiana, Ogata, Aunty and Uncle Teo close to 5pm, went for walk with Lay Bin at Kent Ridge Park and cousin David came with fruits and left them at my doorstep! I love all the fruits he bought! Surprise visit from Jenny ( came with soursop and jackfruit) and Caroline( 2 bags of clothes for Valerie ) and of course my BFF Maggie. Water tasted like metal and bearable bone pain has started but with so many visitors today , I am encouraged!
27/10/12- Bone and joint pain persists but I still attend the Zumba class as it is better than being in the house and feeling miserable. Had lunch with Maggie, Ivy, Jane, Helen and Shirley at Lee Tong Kee Hor fun, we had a delightful afternoon at Maggie's house just chatting away and poking fun at everything said, Somehow in the fellowship of caring friends and the hospitality of my BFF Maggie, all the discomfort of bone pain seems more bearable. Hopefuly the bone pain will go away tomorrow!
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